I know it’s getting a bit like High Fidelity around here, but what can I say? I like lists!  I thought we’d dial things down a notch and attack a fun topic: The Top 5 Reasons I Hate Murlocs. Starting from the bottom:

5. Too Many Blasted Casters

I don’t know about you, but I hate mobs that are casters. You can’t pull them away from a crowd, as they’ll just sit there and blast away, inviting their buddies to join in the fun. They also have a tendency to sneak up on me while I’m fighting other mobs. Sometimes I won’t even realize I’m getting seared in the back repeatedly with lightning bolts. I hate casters no matter what class I’m playing, their equally irritating to any playstyle. Murlocs also seem to have at least 2 or 3 casters roaming around. With camps like Ogres or humans, there’s usually maybe one or two casters at most. With Murlocs they’re like a disease. If they make such great casters, why aren’t they a playable race?

4. Murlocs are EVERYWHERE

If I had my druthers, I’d nuke every zone with a Murloc presence, but then I’m afraid there wouldn’t be many places left to go. Murlocs are there from the beginning, and they seem to follow you around, like a piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe. I first saw the twerps near Goldshire, and they whacked me around then. They taunted me with their treasure chests strewn about, and dared me to try and take them. They tortured me in Southshore, refusing to drop their stupid heads. They even embarrassed me in the expansion, when I made my new Draenei, they attacked me by surprise, while I was just fishing!

When I got to 70, I thought I was done with them. Boy, was I wrong. Then they had to slap me and the whole raid around in SSC. Gigantic warrior Murlocs? Are you kidding me? They’re like a disease, without any cure.

3. Murlocs are Unskinnable

I would get such pleasure out of skinning their fishy bodies after killing them, but no such luck. They sure look skinnable to me, what’s the problem? I could surely make a nice pair of boots out of them, maybe a belt!

[Murloc Boots]
Binds when picked up Leather
+25 Stamina
+25 Spirit
Equip: Increases Coolness Rating by 10,000
Equip: Activates Title: Murloc Bane

2. Murlocs RUN

I hate runners. Seriously. They cramp my style, and often lead to death - which I also hate. Obviously, this is less of a problem with some classes than others, like with a hunter or ranged class, for instance. I still much prefer a mob that stands there and takes it. The problem with running Murlocs is they often run right to the aforementioned casters. Smart, those Murlocs. Devious.

1. The NOISE

You knew it had to be this. What the heck IS that noise anyway? I truly wish I could do a good imitation of a Murloc noise, but I have no such skill. If your coffeemaker were taken over by the devil, I think it would sound similar.

That noise just evokes an instant loathing, deep in my bones. It drives me to turn around instantly and start hacking at its source. The problem is, I often turn around to about 10 Murlocs coming right at me. Lightning bolts flying, nets being launched, a full-on frontal Murloc Assault. It’s like the Shock and Awe of World of Warcraft.

So there you have it. I could have easily stretched this list further, adding things like their irritating, constant dropping of mostly useless Shiny Fish Scales and Fish Oil. If there were Murlocs IRL, I’d gladly mount one of their heads on my wall, and I’m a pacifist!  I’m well aware that I’m far from the only one who hates Murlocs. Sadly, I also know there are those who love them. Crazy, I say. Crazy.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm and is filed under Top 5. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.